All posts by Roxanne Jones

Roxanne Jones

About Roxanne Jones

By day, Roxanne Jones is an award-winning freelance copywriter specializing in health and medicine. She launched Boomer Haiku, a humorous blog about life as a baby boomer, in 2015, and a Boomer Haiku greeting card line in 2016 (available at 6 Maine stores; visit www.boomerhaiku.com/shop/ to learn more). Born and raised in Brunswick, she left Maine after high school (Class of 1971) and, after living in Massachusetts and California, came screaming back to her home state in 2006. She enjoys chardonnay, laughing at the foibles and frustrations of getting older, and contemplates plastic surgery to get rid of the wattle on her neck.

If advertising were honest

If you’re like me, there’s a whole lotta head-shaking and eye-rolling going on when you see TV and magazine ads nowadays. So many of them are so ridiculous, pandering, ageist, sexist, patronizing and/or [insert your adjective of derision here]—especially some ads targeting us baby boomers—that it makes you wonder where Madison Avenue’s head is (besides […]

More life lessons from inanimate objects

Last year, I wrote a post about how even inanimate objects have something to teach us about life, if we allow ourselves to be open to the lessons. Since then, more everyday items have spoken to me (figuratively, that is—I’m not hallucinating), imparting their wisdom. And since we baby boomers are never too old to […]

Baby boomers, sleeplessness and the zombie apocalypse

I predict the zombie apocalypse, when it happens, will be the result of sleeplessness. Think about it. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control has already declared sleeplessness a public health epidemic, reporting in 2013 that while adults need seven to nine hours of sleep a night, one out of three of us routinely gets less […]

42 reasons I’m glad I didn’t have kids

Now that Mother’s Day is in the rearview mirror, here’s my truth: I never heard the siren call of motherhood. If I ever had maternal instincts, I burned through them early when forced into the role of surrogate parent to my 11-years-younger sister because our divorced mom abdicated a lot of the caretaking to me. […]

A new slew of irritants that trigger age-related a**hat allergy syndrome

Spring is finally in the air here in Maine, which means flowers and grasses are blooming–and there’s a ton of tiny pollen grains floating around and triggering allergy symptoms like sneezing, itchy eyes and runny noses. For those of us with age-related asshat allergy syndrome (AAAS), however, it doesn’t matter what season it is. We’re […]

Blog soup: On public urination & other random musings

It’s funny how things happen. I’d been filing away random tidbits for my next batch of blog soup and, when I hauled them out to write this week’s post, it turns out they all relate to the same thing: The parts of our anatomy found inside our pants. I’m not sure what this says about […]

54 things I never thought I’d say

One recent Sunday, a friend asked if I’d seen a certain skit on SNL the night before. I heard myself reply, “No, I can’t stay up that late, but I’ll check it out online.” Then I thought: OMG, did I really just say that? Have I turned into an old fart who nods off after […]

How to cope with “morning peevishness”

It’s been called getting up on the wrong side of the bed. My grandmother called it feeling ugly (as in waking up in an ugly mood). My default word is pissy. But one of the best descriptors of starting the day cranky and reluctant to emerge from under the covers comes from Norwegian explorer Roald […]

6 unusual medical advances baby boomers might appreciate

As we baby boomers confront various health issues as we age, it’s good to keep abreast of medical advances that may offer us hope or, in some cases, maybe just a dose of amusement. Interestingly, some of these developments were the stuff of science fiction when we were growing up. Take a look: Silly Putty […]

They walk among us: Tales of utter stupidity

You know the acronym SMH—for “shaking my head”—that’s used in texting and on social media? Well, I’ve been SMH so much these days that I’m afraid I’m going to get whiplash. Because…stupidity. I’ll be the first to admit I do or say dumb things sometimes (like recently showing up a week early for a lunch […]